Security is only a superstition. It does not exist in nature nor do the children of men, as a whole, experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than out right exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

~quote by Helen Keller

Found in “My Life As a Mountain Guide”, biography of Louis Whittaker. www.RMIGuides.com

Armageddon predictions. I have to admit, they make me a little nervous. I know, what can you do if it happens? The bigger question to me is, what would you do differently if it was definitely happening.

Armageddon scares inspire me savor the succulence of life a little more than I do, to be a slightly reckless, take extra-long soaks in the tub, sleep in, cuddle, go to the lake instead of work, refrain from doing dishes, even if they begin to smell.

When my phone woke me up the other morning and I glanced to see it was 7 something, I was both relieved and admittedly, a tiny bit disappointed that the Armageddon didn’t happen at 6am as predicted.

The dishes would have to be done for sure now.

I let voicemail pick up the call and went back to sleep. When I finally decided to get up and listened to the message, it was my mom and she was crying.

She reconnected with my brother. We haven’t heard from him in a very long time. He had shared news with my mom that he was moving to San Francisco, that’s why mom was crying.

I couldn’t comprehend what emotion I was feeling when she told me, but I’m fairly certain it rode more alongside jealousy than anger. Was I jealous that he is packing to go to move someplace awesome while I stood here in front of stinky dishes? Or is it because he’s leaving me to face this whole memory thing with our mom alone? Which is a responsibility I choose, no one is forcing me, but it sure would be shitty of me to just up and leave now, wouldn’t it? I don’t know, I suppose now that I’m writing through this, I don’t know what I’d do. It’s fucked up.

I have a reoccurring dream. In it, the moon falls from the sky, and the wind begins to blow, gently at first, but gradually gets faster and stronger, and I’m always with my brother, and we realize the earth has been knocked from its orbit and is falling. There’s nothing we can do. I frantically search to find my dog, and gather her in my arms. We phone Dad, who tries to comfort us over the phone, the way he would do whenever something upsetting or death would occur. He’d have the answer, and the answer was always more beautiful and light than the truth that was right in front of us.

Some people believe in afterlives, some people don’t, some people marvel at the miracles of evolution, some are star-struck by the brilliance of God’s creation, but no one really knows what the heck any of this is.

If any day could bring the Armageddon, I hope we’re all doing what we most want to be doing to the best of our abilities with the remainder of our time.

side-note: I did business with a man today who was out of the country, on a boat in the ocean and playing with dolphins and glowing hula-hoops. He must surely be a prime example of a person doing exactly what he wants to be doing right here and now.

If God comes down through the clouds riding a goat someday, I don’t think I’ll be invited to rapture with him, and anyway, I highly doubt there’s such thing as eggs benedict in Heaven, it’s much too sinfully delectable with those runny yolks and gravy-like hollandaise and all. I couldn’t imagine a life or after-life without eggs benedict.

As good and wise friend always puts it to me, “Happy ‘Nother Day!”

What, if anything, would cause you to hesitate at the entrance of the Pearly Gates, if you were told there would be none of it inside?