Author Archives: clutterheart

About clutterheart

You don't know me, but you will.

To Lola and the Titas, Who I Know Are Here, and I Thank Them

Our ancestors are here. Their light shines through us and we illuminate like the fish bones my Lola would pluck from the crown of my head. They would appear there if I accidentally swallowed one. Then, Lola would feed me … Continue reading

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Interesting to observe Other interesting lives And what others find interesting.   Don’t you miss Mexico? I asked him. I wanted deep conversations. He wanted to be left alone with his work.   My body and all its liquid Massive. … Continue reading

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Say What You Want To Say

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Grief aches near my heart, rises up into my shoulders and throat. It contracts, becomes full, and opens. The sound of my sob shocks me. It is unrecognizable. Each morning, each night, and all the way in between; it’s uncomfortable. I … Continue reading

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Jungle Room

The plants have all been moved inside. 

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Life, Love and Letttus

                  I make a terrible gardener. I’m afraid of bugs and spiders, and I’m  never completely comfortable touching dirt. But the good Lord knows I tried.  I started with a vigor, clearing the land, laying bricks, planting … Continue reading

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Dad In Missoula

   In all honesty, whenever I hear that one of my parents needs my help, my initial reaction is anger and resentment. Anger for all the times I’ve been thrown in jail for being an “unruly” child, or thrown out … Continue reading

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Cat Baby

Last night, I dreamt Teo was half kitten, a black and grey tabby. He was substantially adorable. I wish I could show you.

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The Promise

Bill’s been sanding floors. It is hard work, he reports. Teo and I stay away those long hours he’s sanding. When Bill’s day is done he’s covered in wood-dust, coated like a soft fawn. These days, when it’s just Teo and … Continue reading

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We Almost Lived in a Motorhome

We drove to Vermont, where we stayed a few days: frolicked in waterfalls, floated down rivers and slept under trees, before heading out to Cape Cod, a place I had always wanted to see. I ate a chilli-dog along the way. Cape … Continue reading

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A Cure?

In Savannah, Mom asked if she was dying. My heart soured with sadness. “We are all dying, Mom,” I answered. “No, did the doctor tell you that I’m dying?” “No Mom. The doctor did not say that.” This disease forces … Continue reading

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